Ten Reasons Getting Older Is the Worst


1. Getting older means your joints hurt more. Seriously, you’ll have things popping that you didn’t know would crack like that. Before you know it, Tylenol is your best friend and the concept of sitting on the floor becomes a nightmare.

2. Your friends all move away, and you don’t get to see them as much anymore. You might be the last person from your friend group left in town before you know it. You can always hang out with your pals on Zoom, but that’s just not the same.

3. The older you get, the less that songs on the radio sound like music. One day you’ll flip on a pop station and the music will sound like something from another planet. It’s official, you’re uncool now.

4. If you lived with your parents as a child and you’ve now moved out, brace yourself for a sad realization. You’ve now spent the most time with your parents that you ever will in your life. Even if you spend an average of a few days a week hanging out with them, you’ll only see them a tiny fraction of the time you did when you were a kid.

5. The same goes for your siblings. Sure, you can hang out after work and on the weekends, but the largest amount of time you’ll ever spend with these immediate family members is in the past now for most people.

6. When you’re a kid, you wish you had money so you could fill all of your free time with hobbies. When you’re an adult, you wish you had some free time so you could do something with the money you make from working so much.

7. The first time you watch a stellar movie made by a director who is younger than you, you’ll feel like the world is turning inside out.

8. The first time you watch a person who is younger than you dominate at the professional level in a sport, you’ll feel like your chance to truly shine might be behind you.

9. Your older family members start to pass away. This is a sad fact of life, but it’s something we all have to deal with. This is also good practice to accept the fact that it’s going to happen to the people closest to you and, one day, to you.

10. The absolute worst thing about getting older, though, the one that trumps everything else on this list, is hearing someone react in disbelief when you tell them about your favorite album from childhood. “There’s no way you were in high school when that came out, that was, like, a million years ago!”

When you hear that sentence, congratulations, you’re officially old. You can start looking up the process for applying for social security disability benefits now.